I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
