Where did you get a picture of my penis
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
