I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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