with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
