I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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