I swear she didn't look like that last week.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
