that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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