Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
What a dumb baby whore.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
