Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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