He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
