singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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