and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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