Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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