So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
