pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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