The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
