i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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