i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
