I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
