having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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