My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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