Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
