Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
