Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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