I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
