I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize