I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Someone signed my nipple.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize