She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
