I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
