its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
