Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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