I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Randomize
