I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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