It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
