DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
