Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
