i may or may not be watching the land before time
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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