dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
