All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I die, sorry about rent.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
