Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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