96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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