I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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