True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
