shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
