the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
