"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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