Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
