those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
