you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
