I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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