census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
