i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
