yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
operation harelip BJ is a go
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
