Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
