I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
