Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he thought i was a dude.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
