Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
