I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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