does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
