Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
