this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
