Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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