go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
