I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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