Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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